Monday, December 24, 2012

merry christmas from us

Sorry for the hiatus... Turns out that my family is entirely too distracting for me to get any blogging done. But I'll be back again soon. :)

Until then,

Tuesday, December 18, 2012

in which my mountain dew nearly kills me.

Fiance and I finally finished our 21-hour drive to my parents' house. And it was an uneventful trip (thank goodness).

Except for one thing.

It was my turn to drive. Fiance was napping in the passenger seat, and I was singing Taylor Swift songs to myself and guzzling Mountain Dew to stay awake.

Soon, my bladder started to fill up.

"Good," I thought. "Another thing that'll keep me awake."

So I passed right on by the next few gas stations without even thinking twice.

But about ten minutes later, I realized that not stopping was no longer an option. I looked around. There was nothing to be seen on the horizon in any direction besides dead winter fields and more of the highway.

"Oh no."

I pulled the seatbelt away from my abdomen, sat up a little straighter, and floored that gas pedal. Wherever the next gas station or rest area was, I would be getting there as quickly as our little car would let us.

Fiance, unaware of my plight, continued snoring beside me.

But a few moments later, I was in a panic. My full bladder was set to explode. My renditions of "You Belong With Me" turned into a long stream of "please, please, please, please..." My eyes were frantically scanning the highway for any sign of a restroom. The rumble of the engine beneath me wasn't helping me at all either.

And then, just to help out (of course), my brain went on a whirlwind of anxiety-ridden trains of thought.

What if the police pulled me over for going 90 mph? What if I told the police officer why I'd been speeding, and, as punishment, he made me just SIT THERE? What if my insides couldn't take the strain and just exploded?

That would be awkward.

I needed to calm down. I started chanting to myself, "you're going to make it. You're going to be fine." I would just stop at the next exit and find a bathroom. No problem.

But the next exit didn't have a gas station. It didn't have anything.

Neither did the exit after that one.

Pretty soon, I was on the verge of tears. I had never in my entire life needed a restroom more than I did at that moment. So I did what any normal person would do. I started shrieking at Fiance until he woke up.

"What?!" He sat bolt upright, convinced, I'm sure, that we were about to die or something.

"Do you have any napkins in your car?"

Yes. I was reduced to that.

It took him a moment to process the fact that we were actually not about to die and that I had indeed woken him up to ask him about the status of his napkin supply. "Um, I think I have one... why?"

"That'll have to work." I pulled the car off the highway on the next exit (which had no gas station in sight) and, dancing in my seat, sped off down a road looking for trees, bushes... pretty much anything.

I don't think I'd ever been that desperate for anything before. I'm not proud of it, but there it is.

It was the first time I'd had to relieve myself on the side of the road in years, but I didn't care. By that point, the only thing that mattered to me was finding somewhere to empty my stupid bladder.

Having my bladder empty again felt like what I'm sure heaven will be like one day. I was almost walking on clouds as I tramped back through the dry sagebrush and bushes to the car. It was almost as though a forty-billion-pound weight had been lifted from my shoulders (or my abdomen, as it were).

We were only back on the highway for about three minutes when we saw a gas station on the side of the road.

Fiance nearly died laughing.

How do you keep yourself awake on long car rides?
Have you ever had to use the bathroom on the side of the road?
What's the funniest car-ride story you have?

Friday, December 14, 2012

counting down...

I'm counting down for a lot of things these days.

12 hours til Fiance and I take off to my family's house for Christmas (can't wait!)
2 days til we see my family
7 days til the Zombie Apocalypse
10 days til Christmas Eve. (And we get to Skype my missionary brother! Plus also, I love Christmas Eve. Nothing quite like gathering around a Christmas tree and reading the story of the birth of Christ with family.)
4 and a half months til I marry the man of my dreams and graduate from college. Woot!
7months til my birthday. Best day of the year, fools!
8 months til my brother comes home from Russia!
1 year til next December 14th!
2 years til the next one!

What are you counting down to?

Monday, December 10, 2012

sometimes life just wants you to be wet.

Merry Christmas. Fate finally decided to grant us a little bit of December weather (after keeping us in the 60's last week...).

And I am a glamorous campus custodian, therefore my Christmas present today was that I got to shovel the entryways! Yippee Skippy!

That is Morgan, my cool coworker. He shovels snow like a pro even though he's from Seattle and he says that when it snows in Seattle people just hide in their houses until it goes away.

That is a trash can. But it has snow on it, so it's artistic.

This is me at my best angle (the so-dark-you-can't-really-see-me angle). Yep. And I was a shoveling maniac out there.

Note: TOMS are not the best shoe choice ever when it comes to shoveling snow. Just FYI. But it does help a little bit if you sing the two lines that you know from "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" over and over in a creepy man voice.

All sarcasm aside, I really did enjoy the winter wonderland God gave us today. There's nothing quite like a little snow to put me in the Christmas spirit. It was strangely therapeutic to scrape that snow from the sidewalks, too. I became quite nostalgic for the Christmases in New Hampshire that I miss so much.

This is what Christmas is supposed to look like.

We lived in a snow globe.

So many memories of shoveling that driveway with my little brothers and sister. The shoveling turned into snowball fights, which turned into fort-making contests, which led to the driveway somehow never getting fully shoveled. But it was okay, because instead of getting upset at us, Dad crawled into our forts with us and helped us build snowmen to guard the front doors.

Nothing is Christmas to me more than that.

(Yes, that is our mailbox.)

Some of the best memories I have are of being snowed in at this place with the car stuck in the icy, un-shoveled driveway while we huddled up in the mudroom next to the fireplace bundled in giant sweatshirts and homemade quilts.

Merry Christmas, everyone.
And to those of you in New Hampshire, tell it I miss it for me.

What is Christmas to you?
Do you like shoveling?
Have you ever sung "I'm Dreaming of a White Christmas" in a creepy man voice?

Sunday, December 9, 2012

fiance wants me to write a post about cheese.

So here it goes.

Today, I randomly remembered that I still had some cheddar cheese left in the fridge, and I suddenly became absolutely ravenous for said cheese. But I live in an apartment with six other girls, therefore my fridge looks like this:

Only a little bit worse.

But I needed that cheese. I was literally going to DIE if I didn't get that cheese (but not the literal type of "literally." Just the new-teenager-non-literal type of "literally").

So I started pulling things out of the fridge. Like five packages of tortillas. And 27 tupperware dinners. And five gallons of milk. And 12 yogurts. And four bags of shredded cheese belonging to other roommates. And an empty container.

I finally found my cheese at the back of the fridge. But it was inedible. Not moldy, just dry.

And I said to myself, "Self... you need to get your own fridge."

I promise this story was not a pointless story, nor was it a waste of your time. There were lots of things you could learn from this story:

1Don't forget that you have cheese in the fridge.

Okay. You're right. It was a pointless story.

But here is what I learned from this experience:
1Don't take Fiance's advice when he tells you to write blog posts about cheese. 
2You don't know anything about cheese. 
3Nothing exciting has ever happened to you that had anything to do with cheese.
4Next time, write about something cool. Like Nutella. Or puppies. Or naps.
5Nutella is yummy.
6You haven't eaten any Nutella yet today.
7That's probably why you couldn't think of anything to blog about and had to ask Fiance for ideas.
8You should probably go to bed.
9But first, you should eat some Nutella.
10But don't put the Nutella in the fridge, or you'll never find it ever again. And you'll never come up with a blog post ever again either.

Wow, guys.

...Just... wow...

I surprise even myself sometimes.

How do you come up with ideas for blog posts?
Have you ever lost your cheese?

Friday, December 7, 2012

sometimes love takes you by surprise

We met on a date. But we weren't with each other. I was with his roommate, and he was with his girlfriend at the time. How convenient. :)

We became good friends. The thought of dating him never even crossed my mind. He already had a girlfriend, and he was shorter than me (or so I thought).

After a few months, his relationship with the other girl ended. I told him I was sorry. We stayed friends.

A few months later and a few failed attempts at setting me up with some of his friends (ha ha), he finally asked me out. But just as friends, he assured me. So I said yes.

And the whirlwind began.

A few awesome dates later, I found myself in front of the mirror.

"You like him, don't you?" I was saying to my reflection. "What the crap, Jessica? Where did this come from?"

But even as I scolded myself for suddenly having feelings for a guy I'd been convinced would only ever be a friend, I couldn't wipe the goofy grin from my face.

I set my jaw. "I'm going to do this."

So I did.

Turns out, he was taller than me. By about half an inch.

And I fell for him. Hard.

It has been an incredible ride so far. He's my absolute best friend in the entire world. I adore him with everything I am.

With him, I laugh every single day. I feel like the most beautiful girl in the world. I can be more myself than I ever had with anyone else.

Sometimes love comes when you least expect it. And sometimes it's better than anything you'd ever imagined.

And then he asked me to marry him.

It has been the craziest ride of my life. I love him more than anything, and I can't wait for eternity.

What a crazy, goofy, silly, sweet, attractive, adorable, wonderful guy.

And guess what, guys?

He's all mine. :)

You can check out the proposal story HERE or read about when I finally realized how much I really loved him HERE.
What's your love story?

Thursday, December 6, 2012

only 15 days until the zombie apocalypse...

Ever since I convinced Fiance to let me watch The Walking Dead again, I've been formulating my own personal plan for what I'll do if zombies decide to start existing. And then I remembered how everyone is freaking out about how the end of the world is going to happen on December 21st because that's when the Mayan calendar ends. And then I realized holy crap it's going to be ZOMBIES!!!

So I'm going to do you all a favor and teach you all that I know about

because humanity as we know it is going to end on December 21st. We don't have much time.

how to prepare:

1Get in shape. I know it's Christmastime and all you want to do is drink eggnog and watch A Christmas Story all day. Resist the urge. The zombies are coming and they will eat you if you are too fat to run away.

2Stock up on the necessities. Who knows how horrible the zombie outbreak will be? Supplies could get really scarce really quickly. So stockpile the following:

  • water
  • energy supplements
  • guns
  • tents
  • light sabers
  • oreos
  • sweat pants
  • your Captain America shield
  • all of the seasons of Community on DVD

3Stake out a hiding place. It should be remote and difficult for zombies to get to (for example: Hawaii, the top of Mount Everest, a Disney Cruise liner, the North Pole, etc).

4Create a gameplan:

  • How are you going to get to your hiding place? Are you going to run (even though you're disgusting and fat from all of that eggnog)? Are you going to drive your car (you know, that beat-up old chevy with about forty billion miles on it that Mom and Dad gave you that probably couldn't run over a zombie even if it tried)? Or are you going to take to the sewers (and deal with how bad you'll smell for the rest of your life)?
  • Who are you bringing with you? Are you going to bring your roommate (who will need to stop to use the bathroom every twenty minutes and will eat all of your oreos)? Are you going to bring your super ultra-ninja bodyguard (complete with a batman utility belt and rock-hard abdominals)? Or are you just going to straight-up bring along Batman? (Sorry, you can't. I already called dibs on that.)
  • How will you communicate with your loved ones if the cell phone towers all spontaneously decide to combust? Will you use walkie talkies (and just make sure you never get out of range of each other)? Will you send letters by owl (Hedwig, anyone)? Or will you use your ESPN (or something)?*

Remember the basics

  • Zombies are already dead. It is gross and they will smell bad.
  • They don't die if you cut off their arms or their legs with your light saber. Go for the brains.
  • They are drawn by noise. So make like Elmer Fudd and be "vewy vewy quiet."
  • Be hard-core. Only hard-core people survive zombie apocalypses.

6Don't die.

*I hope you caught the Mean Girls reference. I promise I know that ESPN is the sports channel. I'm not that far gone yet.

How are you preparing for the zombie apocalypse?
Have you ever watched The Walking Dead?
If I were to hypothetically need a Captain America shield, where would I find one?

Wednesday, December 5, 2012

mistakes of the week

Going to class. You'd think I would have learned by now that I always should just stay in bed. Guess who looked like this on Tuesday?


4Trying to read at 2am on the couch in the living room. If I was going to fall asleep after reading three words, I should have done it in bed. Where I don't wake up with weird back pains.


3Not showering this morning. Seriously. Do I look like a hobo? Yeah... yeah, I do.


2Going to work. Always a bad decision. Life would be so much better spent sleeping.


But my biggest mistake of the week?
1Convincing Fiance that I wasn't scared of zombies anymore and that I really needed to know what happened in the second episode of The Walking Dead... and the third episode. And the fourth...


I am a glutton for punishment, I swear.

What are your top 5 mistakes of the week? Link up in the comments!
Have you checked out my twitter/pinterest/google+/facebook pages?

Tuesday, December 4, 2012

i can be stubborn...

So Elisabeth from Bella just posted this thought:

What are some things I won't change my mind about?

1The pronunciation of "Nutella." (It's NOO-tella, guys. Not Nut-tella. For real. As one for whom Nutella is part of daily intake requirements, I should know.)
2Macs. (I don't care how many viruses they don't get. I don't care how sleek they are. I don't care that the little apple glows on the back when you use it. PCs are better. Period.)
3Cucumbers. (Best. Vegetable. Ever. And don't you dare pickle them in that evil vinegar stuff or I will hunt you down. That is a promise.)
4Homework. (It's dumb. It always has been dumb. And it always will be dumb.)
5Boy bands. (They rock. And grown-ups are allowed to like them, too.)
6Fiance. (We've already gone through so stinking much to get where we are today, the only thing that could stop me from marrying him at this point is getting hit by a train. Unless I survived. Then I'd still marry him. Maimed or not.)
7God. (He's there, He listens, He is eternal.)
8Food. (I will always, always, always love it.)
9Sweat pants. (You know how people sometimes ask you who you will want to meet when you get to heaven? Some people say Abraham Lincoln, others say Shakespeare... Well I want to meet the guy who invented sweat pants and personally shake that genius's hand. I owe him everything.)
10The fact that the phrase "a couple of" does not necessarily refer to specifically two of something. (I will fight you on this. If I say, "a couple of days ago," I don't mean Sunday specifically. I mean a random day in the last 2 to 5 days. If I say, "I ate a couple handfuls of M&Ms," I don't mean that I only stuck my hand in that bag twice. I probably stuck it in there three or four times. [Fiance, Morgan, Jake, and all the other people I've argued with about this--I'm talking to you. You'll never change my mind!])

So. What are some things you won't change your mind about?
Head on over to Elisabeth's post, check out her list, and link up!

How do YOU pronounce Nutella?
Do you use a Mac or a PC? (note--I still love Mac-users...  I just refuse to mimic your electronic purchasing history. That's all. :)

birthday of epic proportions

It was Fiance's birthday on Saturday, so this past weekend was one full of lots of sugar, lots of balloons, and lots of general awesomeness.

Here are the highlights:

  • Lying to Fiance for the first time. One multiple occasions. But it's okay, because the next one explains the lies.
  • SURPRISE PARTY! (The first one I've ever thrown. And guess what? He was surprised. Score!)
  • Blowing up dozens of balloons. And not even passing out once.
  • Birthday cake! With lots of yummy frosting that dyed our teeth red!
  • Trick candles (courtesy of the awesome Mary Wilson--you rock)! So much for Fiance's wishes coming true... mwahahaha...
  • Ice cream! (Let's be real, it's not a real birthday without ice cream.)
  • Breakfast in bed! (Which meant I got to eat it too. And I love bacon, eggs, and pancakes as much as Fiance does... Maybe more. So really it was more of a present for me. But don't tell Fiance--he still thinks I was doing it for him. ;)
  • Lots and lots of birthday cuddling
  • Date to see Skyfall
  • Tons of popcorn and Dr. Pepper. Yes, we got extra butter on the popcorn. Yes, it was delicious. Yes, you are jealous.
  • Pizza (courtesy of Fiance's mom)
  • Christmas lights
  • Dinner the next day with Fiance's brother and sister-in-law. And holy cow it was yummy.

All in all, a very successful birthday weekend. (I mean, did you notice how much FOOD was involved?)

(Sorry for the blurriness on the photos... I was using my ipod camera...)

Also, in other news, I recently just opened up a facebook page for my blog. I'm still working on getting a button up for my sidebar, but you can check out the page HERE.

Have you ever thrown a surprise party?
How much butter do you like on your popcorn?
Don't you think Fiance's birthday getup is hot?

Monday, December 3, 2012

love is...

...waltzing in a deserted parking lot under the stars.

...falling asleep to the sound of his voice on the telephone.

...holding hands. All the time. Everywhere.

...crying together.

...formulating our plan for how to survive the zombie apocalypse.

...cuddling whenever we can.

...long drives to nowhere in particular.

...eating all of the Oreos.

...kissing in the rain.

...piggyback rides.

...forgiving each other when we mess up.


...missing him five minutes after he leaves.

...rocking out in the car with the music way too loud.

...laughing so hard we cry.

...praying together.

...saying sorry.

...deciding to make it work. Every single day. No matter what.


"Equal partnerships are not made in heaven—they are made on
 earth, one choice at a time, one conversation at a time, one threshold crossing at a time."
-Bruce C. Hafen

"Pray for the love which allows you to see the good in your companion. Pray for the love that makes weaknesses and mistakes seem small. Pray for the love to make your companion’s joy your own. Pray for the love to want to lessen the load and soften the sorrows of your companion."
-Henry B. Eyring

"A successful marriage requires falling in love many times, always with the same person."
-Mignon McLaughlin

"Love one another and you will be happy. It’s as simple and as difficult as that."
-Michael Leunig

"What counts in making a happy marriage is not so much how compatible you are, but how you deal with incompatibility."
-George Levinger

"Happy marriages begin when we marry the one we love, and they blossom when we love the one we married."
-Sam Levenson

What is love to you?