Monday, May 4, 2015

happy anniversary to the man who almost got me arrested

Today is our anniversary, and I wanted to share a story that really just epitomizes the past two years of our marriage (this is from a post from a while back, but I thought this story deserved a retelling).

the one time Husband almost got me thrown in jail forEVER

Once upon a time, my mom and dad and siblings went away for a week-long vacation (that Husband and I weren't invited to because we couldn't get work off... [We love being responsible adults... Not]). So Mom and Dad asked us to house sit for them. We took care of the dogs, watered the plants, and made sure that nothing exploded while the family was gone.

See, my parents had recently installed this brand new, fancy-but-kind-of-not-fancy-at-all home alarm system. Before they left, they showed us how it worked, how to put in the passcode, and that was that. Everything was going to be great.

Until early the third morning of our stay at the parents' house. The sun was not yet up, but we were. Husband had a 7am meeting that morning that he could not miss, and I had a date with a workout video before I started work.

It all happened while I was in the bathroom (because that's obviously when exciting things are supposed to happen, right?). I heard this loud beeping noise that sounded strangely like Husband had let the dogs out without turning the security alarm off. It was really loud, so I assumed Husband could hear it. I wasn't really in the position to go and plug in the passcode to shut off the alarm at the moment, so I just crossed my fingers that he was on his way to save the day.

But then the whole house started wailing like it was dying. The siren was loud. It was relentless. And the sudden shock of adrenaline to my system was incredibly effective at quickly getting me out of my morning zombie phase.

As I hurriedly washed my hands in the sink, I heard Husband desperately punching in the passcode and yelling "the buttons aren't working! It won't let me put in the passcode!"

And then the siren stopped and a piercing voice boomed from the security system box. "Hello, can I get your name please?"

Husband was flustered. And he stammered like crazy as he tried to tell the police that he was the home owners' son-in-law... but he got their first names wrong in his panicked state.

Super convincing.

"We're just house-sitting for them while they're gone..." he finally trailed away, wiping sweat from his brow.

"I see. Can you give me the spoken password?" the woman on the line asked skeptically.

"Is that the same as the passcode?"

"No, it isn't."

Dang it. My parents hadn't said anything about a password...

Husband and I looked at each other with panic in our eyes.

"They didn't give us a password," Husband mumbled.

"Thank you."

And the police hung up. The siren began wailing again. I scurried around throwing on clothes and praying out loud that pretty please I wouldn't get thrown in jail.

Husband looked at his watch. "Shoot. I'm late for the meeting... I really have to go..."

"Go," I told him. "I'll figure it out."

And, reluctantly, he left.

It wasn't until he'd driven away that I realized that I had left my wallet (which contained every legal proof of ID that I had) at our apartment. And I didn't have a car.

I finally got the siren to shut off, but I couldn't stop myself from dreading what might happen next.

I was going to jail. That was the long and short of it. Those police were going to show up and arrest me and lock me up forever.

At about this point, I was calling every member of my family--and where they were, it was about 5am. ("Sorry, Mom and Dad, but I might be going to jail, so if you could pretty please wake up, I would appreciate it a lot...")

After several phone calls, I finally got Dad to answer. He was already laughing.

"Making yourself known this morning, aren't you?"

Apparently, the police called them to tell them they had robbers in their house. Thank goodness my dad was feeling nice enough to verify our alibi.

So, I didn't get thrown in jail. In fact, I didn't even see a police officer.

I did, however, give Husband a hard time the rest of the day for nearly getting me put into jail.

And we lived happily ever after. Well, technically that part actually came after we accidentally locked ourselves out of the house later that same day and had to break in without setting off the alarm for the second time. But that's a different story.

The end.


The past two years have been a whirlwind adventure of fun, crazy, hard, and absolutely joyful times. From scorpions and home alarms, to a brand new baby, these two years have been the best of my life. I can't wait for more!

Oh, and also, just to show that my husband is the best human on the face of the planet, I give you this photo as proof:




Happy anniversary, my love.


2 comments:

  1. haha oh man! that is kinda funny. y'all seem like an awesome couple! even if he ALMOST got you thrown in jail :)

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  2. That is a funny story, Jessica! At least it still had a happy ending, right? Haha! Good thing your Dad was able to clarify that miscommunication before the police show up. Anyway, even though he almost got thrown in jail, I can sense that you still love your husband so much and that was just one of the many adventures you’ll go through as couple. He deserved having given a hard time for that, though. Haha!


    Eliseo Weinstein @ JRS Bail Bond

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