Tuesday, December 2, 2014

warning, this is a birth story

So. I realize it's been a while since I last posted. I've been meaning to post something for weeks... but having a baby can make things kind of crazy for a little while...

Anyway, I've had a lot of questions about my delivery, so I thought I'd do a sort of recap on everything that happened. Warning--this is long. I won't blame you if you don't make it through the whole thing.

My due date was October 29th, so since I found out I was pregnant in February, I'd been counting on October to be the month my baby was born. I knew that since the due date was so late in October, I'd have a chance at having a November baby, but I really hoped he wouldn't go too late. We wanted our little Halloween baby. Little baby boy, however, had different plans.

October 29th came and went without so much as a contraction. Oh well. Lots of first time moms go past their due dates, right? I tried not to get too discouraged.

But then Halloween came and went. Nothing. It was November, and I was still hugely pregnant. I spent my days at work and my evenings doing all of those labor-inducing things people talk about (i.e. walking, squats, bouncing on a birthing ball, eating pineapple... everything short of castor oil). But nothing was happening, and I felt like I was going to be pregnant forever.

I'd picked a group of midwives who delivered in hospitals for my prenatal care because I really liked the idea of natural labor. I spent a lot of time during my pregnancy preparing myself to go without an epidural (crazy, I know, but I did a lot of research and really liked the idea of letting my body do what it knew how to do on its own). But as my due date came and went and there didn't seem to be any progress, people started asking me when I was going to be induced. I really didn't want to be induced because it is a well-known fact that induced labors are harder than regular labors. The contractions are more intense on Pitocin, and they start out close together instead of building up to it. Additionally, I knew that inductions increase the chance for c-sections, and I really really didn't want one of those.

One of the reasons I picked the group of midwives I chose was because they allow their patients to go to 42 weeks before they induce (whereas most doctors only let you go one week past your due date). The vast majority of women will go into labor naturally before they hit 42 weeks, so I was confident that with that extra week buffer I'd be able to have my labor start on its own.

But baby boy wasn't making any signs of coming out. No progress happened between my due date and my appointment at 41 and a half weeks. So it was time to schedule induction. We scheduled it for Monday, November 10th. I really hoped I'd go into labor that weekend, but I didn't have high hopes. My husband kept encouraging me saying, "He could come any time!" But I didn't share his enthusiasm for the possibilities. "No he won't. He doesn't come. My body doesn't go into labor." (Yeah, Debbie Downer, huh? I got pretty discouraged there at the end. My desire to go unmedicated was looking less and less likely with every day that passed and baby boy didn't engage in my pelvis).

So November 10th rolled around. Our alarms went off and we were at the hospital by 6:15am. They checked me before they started my labor. I almost rolled my eyes because of course my body hadn't progressed any in the last few days since my appointment. Ha. I was right.

The lady stuck in my IV (which actually hurt a lot! I was surprised!) and started the Pitocin at 7:30. Contractions started within five minutes and were already about 2.5 minutes apart. Luckily, they weren't crazy painful in the beginning. That didn't last long, though.

The next nine hours were slow and hard. My husband was wonderful about helping me work through each contraction as they got harder and harder, but labor is seriously exhausting. :) I had to initially be in bed for the first 2 hours because they had to monitor how the baby was handling the contractions. After that, they changed the monitors to portable ones so I could move around. We spent some time walking up and down the halls, bouncing on the birth ball, and sitting on the toilet (which I'd heard worked for some women, but didn't really do anything for me). I listened to my hypnobabies relaxation tracks a lot, but couldn't seem to get into them or relax enough for them to help much. For a while, I stood on my feet and then when a contraction hit, I put my arms around my husband's shoulders and leaned into him and he coached me through them. We tried counterpressure on my hips, on my backs, and in my legs. Those seemed to help a bit, but I was getting tired.

Finally, we filled the tub and I got in. I'd been saving the tub as my last pain-beater because I'd heard that "water is nature's epidural." However, it was when I got into the tub that I hit transition. The contractions got so strong, and even though they weren't closer together (still a steady 2.5 min apart), I was losing my willpower. The water didn't help at all, and even though it was warm, my whole body was convulsing and shaking (which is normal in transition, but the fact that it's normal doesn't change the fact that it's freaky in the moment!)

I was so weak by this point. Instead of working through contractions anymore, I kind of just slumped against the side of the tub and let them take me. I felt so weak and defeated. It was then that I finally said weakly through my tears, "I want the epidural."

It wasn't like the movies, where the woman is screaming and slapping her husband and saying, "You did this to me!" For me, it was kind of more of an acceptance that I'd tried my best and at this point going without the epidural no longer seemed worth it anymore.

So I got out of the tub and onto the bed where I had to spend the next half hour or so taking them lying down (which is the WORST, let me tell you). Finally, the anesthesiologist came in and administered the epidural. And finally, the contractions started to hurt less and less until they just felt like a tightening pressure.

The next time they checked me (which was like an hour later), I was a complete 10 cm, but they said that the baby was still not engaging. So they had me wait for an hour to see if my body's contractions would push him down. I was fine with that. Thanks to the epidural, I slept for that hour. My body was so exhausted from the nine hours of contractions I'd pushed through that it was easy to let myself just fall asleep.

When that hour was up, they checked me again. Baby hadn't moved an inch. So they said that we would wait one more hour to see if he'd move before we'd try pushing.

Before the anesthesiologist left earlier, he had given me a little button that I could push if my epidural seemed to be wearing off. I could push this twice. If it wore off after the second dose, I'd have to call the anesthesiologist to come back down. Well, during those two hours of waiting for baby to descend, I pushed that button both of my allotted times.

At around 7pm, after the second hour of waiting, they checked me. Baby still hadn't moved, so it was decided that I should start pushing to see if I could push him into my pelvis.

I then pushed for four hours.

Those four hours were, without a doubt, the hardest hours of my life. As I started to push, I regained the feeling in my legs and upper abdomen and I started to feel the pain of those contractions again. The epidural was wearing off at the worst possible time, and I'd already used up my two re-doses. They called in the anesthesiologist. Throughout my pushing phase, they had to call the anesthesiologist back to put in more epidural three times. And it never really helped much (I joke now that I could have kicked my midwife in the face. I really could have though. I had total use of my legs during my pushing phase. Which is not what I wanted. I had wanted to go natural, and since I decided to get the epidural, it had better work properly!) Apparently my body metabolizes that stuff like crazy.

After about two hours of pushing, baby was finally in the birth canal. But I was exhausted beyond anything I'd ever felt in my life. My body was convulsing and shaking again. I was bleeding everywhere. I started to lose it. I was no longer rational. The pain and the exhaustion were too much for me.

I won't go into more details here because, quite frankly, a lot of it is a blur now. I just remember hurting and hurting and hurting and pushing and pushing and pushing and bawling in completely hysterics. It probably looked pretty pathetic to everyone there. And I remember the insane burning of the feeling when the baby's head was pushing against my perineum (not crowning, but almost. Everyone could see his head. And he stayed right in that spot for an hour or so, which was just mean).

Finally, the midwife said she was going to call the OB on call to see if he could come try vacuum or forceps to get this baby out.

The OB came and tried for a while using his hands to turn the baby (apparently, little boy was sideways, which was causing him to get stuck in my pelvis). But baby boy wouldn't turn. I was shivering uncontrollably and had spiked a fever at this point. And the baby's heart rate started to drop with every contraction.

Finally, at about 11pm, the OB stood up and said, "This baby isn't coming out this way. I think it's time to just have a birthday. You need a c-section."

And, strangely, after an entire pregnancy of doing everything I could to avoid c-section, relief flooded through me. I could be done. And most of all, they would numb my stupid, epidural-resistant body and I wouldn't have to feel anything anymore.

I was terrified. But so relieved. I was going to get to be done. No more pushing. No more of this pain. My baby would finally be born. I could be done with this labor.

I spent the next little bit praying and trying not to freak out as they prepped me for surgery.

I don't really have much to say about the c-section except that it was a lot quicker than I thought it would be. Within about five minutes, I heard that first cry from my little baby. They spent a lot longer stitching me back up than they did getting him out.

The moment I first saw my baby made all of the things that I'd gone through that day so worth it. He was beautiful. They brought him over all bundled up and put him next to my face so I could see him while the doctors finished my surgery. He was so beautiful. I talked to him. Told him how much I loved him and how happy I was to finally meet him. He seemed to recognize my voice instantly. I kissed his sweet cheeks and stroked his soft skin and marveled at how precious he was. Remembering that moment nearly brings me to happy tears every time.

The rest of that night was a huge fog. I was on so much medication that I really don't remember hardly anything. I vaguely remember nursing my baby boy for the first time, but even that isn't very clear and I've gleaned most of what I know about that experience from my husband because I really just don't remember it.

But my baby boy was born, and he is beautiful and I can't imagine my life without him. He was a whopping 8 lbs 15 oz and 22 inches long. He had a full head of beautiful brown hair and the biggest, most innocent eyes I've ever seen.

So, as I look back at my whole labor experience, a few things stand out in my mind.
1: They aren't kidding when they say that childbirth hurts. Oh my word. It's a kind of pain that I couldn't even comprehend until I was experiencing it. I appreciate all of the mothers in this world so much more. Especially those who choose to have more babies. :)
2: Natural childbirth is freaking intense. I am seriously in awe of any woman who is able to do it. I seriously wanted to do it, and I'm dang proud of myself for going as long as I did. I don't regret my decision to get the epidural at all, but man. You women who go unmedicated are seriously my heroes.
3: C-section is hard! I never really thought about the fact that it is major abdominal surgery! You hear about it all the time, and it just kind of becomes commonplace. I never realized how painful it could be to recover from. Not fun at all.
4: Newborn babies are miracles. I'm telling you, I have no idea why on earth God would trust me with this precious little one, but He has and I am so intensely grateful. I love this baby in a way I've never loved anything in my life.
5: My husband is my hero. Having him and his strength in the delivery room was an unbelievable blessing. I made the right choice when I married him. Also, he's a fantastic daddy. :)

And that's my story. I think it'll be a little while before I have another baby, and during the whole process I would have told you that I'd never do it again. But once I met my little one, I realized how worth it those babies are. So yes, I hope for future kids... I just hope they aren't quite as stubborn about being born as this one. :)

And now... pictures! (Because what kind of proud mama would I be if I didn't show of pictures of my adorable little baby?!)

 This was the last pic of me pregnant. I was still about a week away from giving birth, but you get the idea. Big belly. :)

First picture of my little baby! He looks just like his daddy in this one. And you can see all of that hair!

Sorry for the blurriness. He is a little wiggler!

Going home from the hospital. He was four days old here, and down to 8 lbs 2 oz.

This is a photo from the other day when he was letting me snuggle him. He's a little chunker now at three weeks old and 10 and a half pounds! Love my little man!

Thursday, October 2, 2014

PUPPP. Otherwise known as agony.

So I'm usually pretty silly and sarcastic in my blog posts. I'm a silly person, and I believe life is better when you are laughing. However, this post is different because I can't joke about this. It's too awful, and I'm not yet to the point where anything about it is funny. I'll probably come to that point someday, but that day is not today.

PUPPP. You've probably never heard of it, and if you have, it's probably because you had it (in which case, I'm so so sorry...) PUPPP stands for Pruritic Urticarial Papules and Plaques of Pregnancy, but I know it better as agony. It is rare, only affecting less than one percent of pregnant women. It usually develops at the end of the third trimester, and it is awful.

But let me back up in my story.

About a week and a half ago, I started to itch on my abdomen. Nothing strange about that, pregnant women get itchy skin all of the time. Something about stretching skin. No big deal.

But then that itch got really bad. I couldn't stop scratching. It itched and it itched and it itched and no matter what I did, I could not make it go away. It was maddening. My skin became raw. My stretch marks started to swell into bumpy red masses and blood came to the surface. And still I could not stop scratching.

So I went in to see the doctor and she decided to run tests for Cholestasis, which is a liver disorder that is very dangerous to the baby. They took my blood and sent me home with instructions to try oatmeal baths and to try not to scratch. As if I could control it. (By the way, test results came back negative for Cholestasis, thank goodness.)

That was last Wednesday. By Saturday, the itch had spread to my hips and thighs, but my belly was still the biggest offender. I woke up several times a night to scratch. My husband tried to hold my hands away from me to get me not to scratch, but the intense, horrific itch was so bad I felt like my mind was going to explode.

Come Sunday night, the itch had spread down my legs to my ankles, and little red bumps were starting to appear on my hips.

Sunday night I itched so badly that I hardly slept at all. I was beside myself. I was coming unglued. My skin was on fire. If I scratched, it burned, and if I didn't, it burned. I couldn't win.

Tuesday morning I awoke to find my upper thighs covered in blisters. It freaked me out and I called my doctor as soon as their office opened to demand to be seen.

She took a look at the bumps all over my belly and thighs and diagnosed me with PUPPP.

There is no cure for PUPPP except delivery of the baby. PUPPP is not dangerous for mother or baby (though I might disagree with that "not dangerous" thing... I really feel on the edge of a nervous breakdown with this itch).

And it will get worse. That was the part that stuck out to me when the doctor said it. It will continue to get worse until you have your baby.

When I got home, I searched the internet for information. But there isn't a lot of it out there. Because it doesn't affect very many pregnant women, not much research has been done on it. They don't know what causes it (though there are hypotheses about the woman's body having an allergic reaction to the baby's DNA... crazy!). There is no cure except for delivery, so it is treated only for the symptoms (and even then, treatments are spotty. They had me on Benadryl, which did nothing. I'm now on Zyrtec, which seems to help a tiny amount, but not much. They recommend oatmeal baths and baking soda baths and cold compresses and sleeping pills to make you just sleep through the itch. In extreme cases, steroid treatments are prescribed, but that's an absolute last resort because steroids are not great for an unborn baby...)

Anyway. The red rash has started to show up on my lower legs and even my feet now. My arms are starting to itch and redden. I'm even feeling itchy bumps beginning on the palms of my hands.

This is a picture of my arm from last night:

And this is my leg (photo taken just a second ago):

I'm not even going to show you what my hips and thighs look like. Just imagine that but way worse and with blisters all over that look like I was attacked by every mosquito on earth.

I've been reading articles written by other PUPPP sufferers. A few who have had PUPPP and given birth to their babies say they would rather go through childbirth again than get PUPPP again. Some women with severe PUPPP have even been admitted to psych wards for nervous breakdowns. While my PUPPP is not as severe as some of those cases, I now understand that an itch like this is not a trivial thing. I know that my case of PUPPP is mild compared to other women, and my heart aches for them.

As I shrieked and cried at 2am last night trying to keep from clawing the skin off of my body, my husband held me in his arms and reminded me of the only thing keeping me sane through this: "It's for our son. Just hang on for our son."

So whenever the itch gets so bad I want to cut off my flesh with a butcher knife, I remind myself that I'm doing this for my son. These last couple of weeks are so important to his development. I am counting the days til he gets here... not only so that I can be free from PUPPP, but also because I can't wait to meet the little boy that has already stolen my heart in so many ways. I adore him, and I'm willing to do anything for him. I'll scratch my body to bits if I need to.

I'm going to go bathe in baking soda now and dream of the day I get to meet my baby boy.

Less than four weeks until my due date. I can make it, right?

Thursday, August 28, 2014

update: yep, definitely still a baby!

So... I haven't posted in almost four months. So much for people who care... like my mother... getting updates on my pregnancy, huh? I'm already a bad mom and the baby isn't even here yet...

When I realized that I hadn't done a pregnancy update in that long (you poor people were probably all nervous wrecks waiting for me to post by now, I'm sure), I decided to post on possibly the most random week of pregnancy. Week 31. I think 31 weeks is awesome, but it's not a nice even ten like 30 would have been... nor is it even a pretty number like 32 will be... But that's okay. I do what I want, guys. I'm a rebel.

Yep, guys, that's how big this belly is now. Which to me feels really gargantuan, but apparently is totally normal and measuring right on time. But I still feel ginormous.

How far along? 31 weeks, guys!

Total weight gain? Too much. Okay, so maybe this goes along with me feeling gargantuan, because actually I'm in the "normal" range for this too (which, in case you were wondering, for 31 weeks is 21-27 pounds. No wonder I'm uncomfortable...). But seriously, I weigh as much as a man. Not a huge man, or anything. But still. I've kind of come to terms with the weight gain, though. It used to freak me out every time I gained a pound. Not anymore! It'll be weird when I won't just be steadily putting on a  pound a week... I've gotten so used to it.

Maternity clothes? ROCK! I love how comfy they are. I think I've said this before, but I may never wear regular jeans again.

Stretch marks? You betcha. I kind of tried to fool myself into believing that I would be one of those super lucky wonder women who don't get any stretch marks. Not so! I've done everything right... I put coconut oil body butter all over every inch of my body every day, drink 100 oz of water every day, have kept my weight gain slow and steady... but I just kind of had to accept the fact that stretch marks are in my genes and there's not much I can do about those. I freaked out when I got my first stretch mark. And then again when I got my second one and my third one... but then when I kept getting more I kind of realized that freaking out was entirely too exhausting for this pregnant lady, and I quit caring. These stretch marks are gonna keep showing up whether I want them to or not, so I'll just embrace them. :)

Sleep? I know this is going to sound blasphemous coming from a woman starting her eighth month of pregnancy, but my sleep has been awesome this whole pregnancy. You can hate me, but that's the truth and I'm SO grateful! Though it's going to be weird when Husband gets back from his 4-month stint living in another state because I might have to let him use one of the pillows that I have monopolized in his absence. Or maybe we just need more pillows, because it is a definite possibility that I won't relinquish any of the pillows.

Best moment this week? Husband gets back from his internship tomorrow. No more being a lonely hormonal woman for this girl! WOOP! (Side note: Never ever EVER ever ever EVER let your husband live in a different state from you for four months when you're pregnant. It's just not a good idea. Trust me.)

Miss anything? Raw eggs. And by that, I mean cake batter and cookie dough. I made a dangerous discovery last week, though. If you mix chocolate cake mix with milk and oil, it tastes just like regular cake batter. But it can't harm my baby. I may or may not have eaten an entire batch of cake batter like that last week. Don't judge me. At least it wasn't all in one sitting. I do have some self control, people. However minimal.
Oh and also I miss pizza. Pizza makes me sick this pregnancy and it is so so so unfair that sometimes I sit and pout about it. I just want to eat a whole dang pizza by myself. I told Husband that as soon as this baby is out, he'd better buy me my own Domino's pizza or else.

Movement? This baby is now to the stage where he's so big that when he moves or kicks it looks like he's gonna burst through my skin alien-style. It's super creepy. And awesome. But also kind of gross-looking and if I watch my belly contort like that for too long I start to feel queasy.
Oh, and also, he gets the hiccups like five times a day. Which I still think is so stinking adorable every time it happens that I grin like a crazy fool. But I hear that in a few weeks I'll stop thinking it's so cute and start thinking it's obnoxious. We'll see how long this cute phase lasts.

Food cravings? Cheese. And peanut butter. Both pre-pregnancy favorites, but now I can't go a day without eating both.

Anything making you queasy or sick? Just watching him make my belly turn into shapes that a human belly should never be...

Gender? Oh my goodness, I never did a blog post about when we found out he was a boy! Shame on me. Well, hopefully most of you saw that on facebook! Oops!

Labor signs? No. But I get my Braxton Hicks all the time! Let's keep this baby in there until he's good and cooked!

Symptoms? Haha... um how about a giant belly complete with a nearly-four-pound little boy inside? I think that counts.

Belly button in or out? In! But really stretched out and puffy. And I originally thought it would pop out, but now I'm thinking that maybe it'll just be puffy and weird-looking and that's about it. Not nearly as exciting, but whatever.

Wedding rings on or off? On. And I'm crossing my fingers they stay that way!

Happy or moody most of the time? Happy. As long as I've got my jar of Skippy and a spoon!

Looking forward to? Meeting my little man. The love I feel for him is overwhelming already, and I can't imagine what it'll be like to actually hold him in my arms, squish his chunky little baby thighs, and kiss his little baby nose. Man, I'm gonna cry just thinking about it!

Well... that's just about everything you could possibly want to know about my pregnancy at this point, I'm sure. And I can officially stop feeling bad about not updating. :)

Also, photos are courtesy of Breanna, my awesome sister-in-law (she did our engagement photos, if you remember those, and she rocks. :)

Sunday, May 4, 2014

It's true. I'm growing a human.

It was the morning of February 19th. I woke up around 5 am with a very full bladder, and thought, "today is it..." The first day I could possibly get a positive pregnancy test--if I were pregnant. So, with way more excitement than I usually have when the sun is not yet up, I headed into the bathroom and whipped out a Dollar Tree pregnancy test.

As I washed my hands, I stared at the test where it sat on the counter. Soon, the control line came up. It looked like a negative. I blew out the breath I'd been holding and tried not to feel disappointed.

But then something about that test started to look funny. I held it up to the light. Sure enough, there was an ever-so-faint second pink line. (The test pictured is not the original test. The one pictured is one I took much later, once the HCG hormone was much stronger in my system).

"What?" I looked at myself in the mirror with a goofy grin. "Really?"

I kept looking at it. The longer I looked at that test, the more I could actually see that line. It was very faint, but it was a line. And a line is a line, in the world of pregnancy tests. You don't get lines unless you're pregnant.

I opened up the cabinet and shoved the pregnancy test inside, trying not to scream out in joy. I was pregnant. We were going to have a baby. What?!?!

I crawled back into bed next to my sleeping husband and for the next hour and a half til my alarm went off, debated whether I could contain my excitement and tell him right now, or if I could wait til the end of the day and actually do something cute.

My desire to be creative won out, even though I rolled over probably twenty times and almost woke him up... It was so hard to not say anything.

That night, I gave Husband a present at dinner. It was a little pacifier that said "I love Daddy" on it and the book, "My Boys Can Swim!" (Which is a really funny book on how to survive pregnancy--for the husbands).

He first pulled out the pacifier and looked at it for a second. "Wait," he looked at me with a half smile. "Are you?"

I just smiled and nodded.

"Wait, really?!" He started laughing and pulled out the book (which he thought was hilarious) and then said, "Oh my gosh, we're having a baby!"

There was a lot of laughing and smiling and hugging after that.

We were both so surprised. We didn't expect to get pregnant that soon... everything I'd read said that it could take the average couple about six months to conceive, and here we were on our second month. But we were thrilled beyond belief.

Since then, we've taken to calling our little one "Bug." It seems to fit, especially since we still don't know if it's a boy or a girl (three more weeks til the gender check!)

Bug is due October 29th. We're hoping for a Halloween baby, but let's be real. It'll probably be a November baby. Either way, we can't wait!

So here's the part where I show you my bump. I've actually started showing quite a bit considering I'm just barely into my second trimester, but I kind of love that little baby belly. It just proves that Bug is really in there. I can't button up my normal jeans anymore, so I invested in a belly band to keep the pants up. However, I accidentally made the mistake of trying on a pair of jeans at Motherhood Maternity this week. It was a mistake because I was "just looking," but it turned into "I absolutely HAVE to buy these jeans NOW." So I bought them.

I'm not kidding, maternity pants are the single most comfortable things in this universe. I daresay I may never wear normal jeans ever again.

So, without further ado... Here's where I started. No belly yet at 8 weeks.

And then here is where I was a few days ago at the beginning of my fourteenth week. Definite belly in there.

What's crazy to me is that from  4 weeks til about 8 or 9 weeks, I gained more weight than I expected to (for the first trimester--most moms don't gain any or even lose a few pounds due to morning sickness). However, since about week 9, I haven't put on a single pound, but BAM! Baby belly out of nowhere! So it doesn't make a ton of sense to me. You'd think I would have gained those 7 pounds during these last five weeks of belly-growing, but no. It's a mystery.

So... that pretty much sums it up. Here are the answers to the questions I've been receiving the most often:

Was it planned? Yep. It was. We wanted this baby, and we are absolutely ecstatic that the timing is working out so perfectly for our little family! This little one couldn't have picked a better time to come into our lives.

Were you super sick? Actually, moms everywhere are going to hate my guts. I really wasn't. I had a few bad days here and there, and definitely didn't feel 100%. But I have never once thrown up. Which is actually really surprising to me... my mom had the WORST morning sickness ever for all of her pregnancies--vomiting pretty much til delivery. But me? Nope. I'm counting my blessings on this one. I've had pretty bad symptoms in other regards, but morning sickness has not been one of them.

What has been the worst symptom? The tiredness. Oh. My. Gosh. See, I went to college. I've pulled many all-nighters. I even worked an early morning custodial job and got on average about 3 hours of sleep per night for six months straight and nearly gave myself a heart condition because of how tired I was. I thought I knew what tired was. I thought I was an expert on tired. I was so, so wrong. Pregnancy tired is a million times worse. It's a kind of tired that I've never experienced in my entire life. It feels like my cells are 98 years old and dying. I feel the exhaustion in my bones. Believe me, you don't know tired til you've been pregnant. Just ask Husband... it's been pretty bad.

Do you think its a girl or a boy? Gah! I don't know! I read a statistic somewhere that the mom's gut instinct about the gender of her baby is usually right (I think it said 70% of the time), but I really don't know. For the first ten weeks, I was absolutely CONVINCED it was a girl. But then at the first ultrasound, the little picture popped up of our little wiggler, and I just started calling it a "he." So now I'm thinking it's a boy maybe? I really have no idea. It'll be a surprise to us!

Do you want a boy or girl? I want a girl. Please, please, please... Not to say that I won't be absolutely thrilled if it's a boy, too. It's just that this seriously is the year of boys. Everyone I know is having boys this year. We'll have three nephews born this year before our baby is born. I kind of want to be different. But I also really just want a little girl I can cuddle. Besides, Husband and I are much better at agreeing on girl names than we are on boy names. Husband wants a boy, though. He thinks it would be awesome for our other future children to have a big brother. Besides, he loves wrestling with his little nephews, and he's best friends with our neighbor's adorable 1-year-old boy. Either way, I know for sure that our baby will be the cutest baby ever whether it's a boy or girl!

Do you have any names you like? Yep. About 100. Luckily, we have a few months to narrow it down. :)

Do you want my free old baby stuff? Yes! haha I'm glad that yard sale season is coming up... because that's where we'll buy most of our baby things, I'm pretty sure.

Do you have any ultrasound pictures? Yes! This one's my current favorite--it's from about a week and a half ago:

Sorry it's blurry... something about taking a picture of a picture... and also the fact that ultrasounds tend to look kind of fuzzy anyway. But there's our cute little Bug! The size of a peach this week--or a lemon, or a beet... depending on which of my pregnancy apps you're looking at (don't judge me. Husband already does ;). Bug is a major wiggler. The whole ultrasound, those little arms and legs did not stop moving! Rolling around, stretching out, sucking its thumb, shaking its head... it was so unbelievably cute. We were smitten. :)

Anyway, that's the update! WE'RE HAVING A BABY!