Tuesday, December 17, 2013

ten things i don't understand about men

Ever since I got married, I've learned some things about men that make zero sense to me. So I thought I'd compile a list of them for you ladies who know what I'm talking about.

1Their complete fascination with explosions. I don't get it. I never will. If something explodes in a movie, that movie is suddenly 46 times better to most men. And if it's a really big explosion, let's add a few points onto that. What? How does that make any sense?

2How they can eat and eat and eat and eat and eat and somehow never gain a pound. It is seriously the most unfair thing in the history of the universe. I want that superpower!

3How they just cannot tell if something matches or not. This one is actually incredibly endearing to me. But no, Husband, you can't wear stripes AND plaid in the same outfit...

4Video games. Husband is one of those only-once-in-a-while gamers, but I will never ever understand how some men can literally play video games for 12 hours straight. Don't they get bored? Don't their hands hurt by then? Maybe I have a short attention span, but I get bored after doing anything for 20 minutes.

5How incredibly upset they can get when they watch sports. You'd think the other team was personally assaulting them by the way they can rant and rave about it.

6Doing risky things. Like spinning donuts in the car during a snowstorm or extreme sports or cliff jumping. Why are near-death experiences so dang much fun to them? Whenever Husband spins a donut while I'm in the car, I nearly wet my pants, and then spend the next hour freaking out about how we almost spun into the wall or the parked car or the church building and how we were THIS close to being dead and holy crap why would you do that?!

7Spitting. Why? I mean, whatever, but why?

8Watching people get beaten up. This kind of goes along with the explosion thing, but why does a good fistfight make a movie so exciting to them? There isn't even any kissing or romantic monologues during fistfights...

9How they can do pull-ups. Seriously. Even non-buff guys seem to be able to do them. But have I ever in my entire life been able to do ONE pull-up without jumping off the ground first? Nope. Life is so unfair.

10Butt-slapping after a game. What the heck?

But, all of these things considered, I love men, and I love my man. Thank goodness men aren't like women, or this world would be a crazy place.


  1. This is so funny and true! My husband definitely mixes stripes and plaid. I don't know if he will ever get over that he can't play call of duty everyday. He's also 6 ft 5 and eats crap but can't seem to get past 165 lbs! I'm always wondering why sports matter so much. And why he's upset that I get sick when he drives crazy in the snow!! Hahaha but these things are so him and it makes me laugh. Crazy guys!

  2. Oh my gosh. So true. All of these!


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