Tuesday, March 19, 2013

i dreamed a dream...

Okay. What the holy hannah hobo heck is going on with me? (Forgive my bad language)

I'm (almost) 23 years old. I've gone nearly that entire time with a relatively dream-less existence. Other than a few random dreams (you know, the one where you go to Prom naked, or where you fall off a cliff and get so worked up over falling to your death that you have a mini spaz attack in your bed), I'd never been one to have exciting dreams. Or weird ones. Or awesome ones.

I'd wake up, and I'd remember wisps of dreams, but never anything concrete.

I don't know what's in the water these days, but something is definitely up. I'm remembering my dreams like a crazy madwoman, and all of them are beyond weird.

Here are a few examples:

dream 1: in which the immaculate conception makes a second appearance
Pretty self-explanatory. I dreamt that I was hugely pregnant all of a sudden with a child I hadn't conceived. Nobody would believe that the baby had just popped into existence, though. I specifically remember one bit of the dream where I'm sobbing profusely screaming, "but I have no idea where this baby came from!" Everyone just laughs.


dream 2: in which i wake up on my wedding day three months too early
I wake up thinking it's February, roll over and look at my phone. It's May 4th. I fall off my bed in shock. Fiance's calling me asking me where the heck I am. Mom's calling me asking how come I didn't order the wedding cake. Bridesmaids are asking why they don't have anything to wear. I book it out of the house and drive to the wedding place, only to realize that not only had I not yet gotten the alterations done for my wedding dress, but I actually forgot to get dressed that morning. Yep. It was one of those dreams.


dream 3: in which i'm a sneaky shower-taking ninja
The landlord of my apartment has newly painted my bathroom and told me not to shower in there until the paint dries. But I need a shower (not in a I'm-disgusting-and-dirty kind of way, more in an OCD-I-must-shower-twice-a-day kind of way). So I sneak into the bathroom after the painters have gone and take a shower. But the painters figure me out and start banging on the door yelling at me to stop showering. And I try to pretend like I'm not actually there, but I fail because I have to go to the bathroom so horribly bad and the painters hear me using the toilet. Geez Louise.


dream 4: in which the gym starts on fire but i still want to work out
The title of this one is pretty self-explanatory, too. I show up at the gym, and find out that it's totally on fire (like, blazes up to the sky, polluting the earth with smoke, and all that jazz), but I don't want to miss out on my workout for the day, so I ignore the fire. Oh, and somehow I've lost all my clothes (why do our dreams DO that to us?!), and there are all these creepers trying to take pictures of me. And then when I get into the smokey gym, none of the treadmills work except for this one bizarro one that has a head that you talk to instead of a screen with buttons. And it looks like Ron Weasley but has a really bad sense of humor.




The list goes on... but I think there are a few things we can learn from this:
1I need a hobby.
2I am a workout maniac (as evidenced by the fact that I haven't been to the gym in close to a month...)
3Maybe I shouldn't shower twice a day.
4I should probably get more sleep than I do.
5I should definitely make sure to wear clothes to my wedding.
6I should learn better ninja skills. Like how to use a toilet without making any sounds.
7I don't fear fire.

Have you had any crazy dreams lately?
Do you somehow embarrassingly lose your clothes in half of your dreams?
Have you ever worked out in the middle of a fire?

4 comments:

  1. Haha I hate to laugh at your suspense, but what interesting dreams! I especially love the shower one hahaha.

    Lately I have been all-consumed by uni and blogging and the fact that everyone around me is having babies so basically all of my dreams are about that. I'm either pregnant and go into labour in an exam, someone tells me to stop blogging or they'll kill my family (wow, I'm not that bad at writing, am I?) or im late to submit a uni assignment and the lecturer makes me do something weird (like wear a chicken suit and do the chicken dance) before he will mark my assignment. Sometimes I wonder what's going through our brains while we are asleep for them to come up with all this nonsense!

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  2. pee in the shower! gross? maybe. maybe not, but seriously, it's sneaky ninja moves like this that can keep you showering twice a day. lol

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  3. haha your first dream is hilarious because I used to have those in high school all the time!! it was so strange!! (well it was probably because like 10 girls I knew got pregnant in high school, but still...) haha ; )

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  4. Hahahaha I think dreams are hilarious. I tend to have nightmares....like my throat gets slit. I watch my friend be chained up in a cement basement and be forced to cut her eyes with dull scissors. And I got molested by Gary Busey once. Still get creeped out when I see him on TV!

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