Saturday, January 19, 2013

i have weird dreams sometimes.

So, the other night, I had the strangest dream.

We were all sitting down at the outdoor wedding dinner the night before our wedding, and Fiance's dad was in the middle of a speech. I was sobbing because I was so happy, and Fiance was wearing an ugly, red and yellow polka-dotted bow tie (but it was okay because he looks like Brad Pitt, so the tie only enhanced his good looks). The table settings were beautiful and turned out way better than I'd hoped they would. Except two tables didn't have tablecloths, and I distinctly remember staring at those tablecloth-less tables and hoping none of my guests noticed the tacky crayon marks all over them.

And that's when we heard it. At first it was a low grumbling roar in the distance. Heads started to turn in the direction of the gate. People started whispering to each other.

"What's that noise?"

"What in the world...?"

Fiance's dad faltered in his speech, as he turned his gaze toward the gate as well.

I got to my feet, shoving my giant, lacy skirts out of my way (because I was wearing my wedding dress the night before the wedding... Apparently the warning that it's bad luck for the groom to see the dress before the wedding is true, because here's what happened next...)

That's when I saw the first one.

(Betcha can't guess what it was... Haha okay you probably can.)

A zombie.

Suddenly, everything was chaos. People were running, screaming, snatching up their children. Tables were overturned, wedding cake was smashed, Fiance's dad's speech was completely forgotten.

More zombies appeared. They burst through the gate and came at us, moaning their creepy moans and walking their creepy walks and making their creepy dead expressions at us.

I knew what I had to do.

"Hey zombies!" I ran out ahead of everyone and waved my arms around in the air. "Hey, look at me! Over here!"

The zombies stopped midstride and turned to face me.

"Come get me, you dummies!"

And then I took off running. I gathered up my skirts in my arms and booked it down the sidewalk, only glancing over my shoulder once to make sure that the zombies had lost interest in my wedding guests and were chasing me.

My shoes somehow disappeared in the way things often do in dreams. Maybe I'd never been wearing them to begin with, or maybe they fell off as I ran at top-speed down the road. Who knows? But I conveniently wasn't wearing wedding shoes as I outran all of those creeps.

What if I get tired before the zombies do? I remember thinking, but I laughed aloud as soon as that thought crossed my mind, and I picked up speed. Impossible. I ran a stinking marathon, for crying out loud. Those zombies don't stand a chance. (Which is totally bogus. I haven't ever run a marathon. And I never will. But apparently the dream version of me is way more legit than the real-life version of me, so I had that going for me.)

I ran all night long without even getting winded. The zombies got so tired that they all just disintegrated because they couldn't keep up with me, which was pretty convenient considering that zombies don't do that in real life... (Listen to me... "in real life"? I need to rethink my life.)

So once all of the zombies were gone, I ran back home. And apparently my little brother got the whole thing on tape, so we sat down and watched me be a bride superhero. And it was awesome.

Then I woke up.

Thank goodness I had the foresight to make sure that all of my tables have tablecloths at my wedding.


What are your craziest dreams?
Have you ever run a marathon?

1 comment:

  1. Hahaha. That is so funny! I've been having crazy dreams lately too! Except they are always nightmares and they always have to do with my boyfriend dumping me.. Hopefully dreams don't come true or were both in trouble! ;)

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